A Thanksgiving Day Treat

“Ah, another great day in the wild. Nothing to do, and nobody to bother me. I love life!” The speaker of this simple phrase waddled around the cave where he had made a home. It was a small cave, just enough to keep out the rain. There was a large mass of undergrowth, moss, and twigs piled towards the back. This was the speaker’s nest. Said speaker, was a turkey. This warbling critter was just past maturity, and living on its own. His name, was Sam. “Damn, I’m hungry. I should probably go dig up some grub, or grubs. Whichever comes first.” The poultry chuckled to itself, thinking it had made a funny joke. If anyone had been around to hear it however, the Turkey would probably be dead already. Sam trotted out of his home, and went on a day long foraging session, to fill his belly. It was late fall, and he was trying to keep full while he could. The harsh winter climate of the area would make regular meals a problem. Sam was a bit of a scrawny bird, not having progressed into the obesity of the older birds. What Sam did not know though, was that he had a peculiar destiny. One that was as hidden, as it was odd.

“BURP! Ah, much better!” The now sated turkey lunged for its nest, and settled down for a rest. It was ironic. The bird spent so much energy, that even when he managed to fill his gut, he was only barely replacing his energy stores. “Damn, I’m tired. Its getting harder and harder to find anything to eat these days. I should probably go find a better place to live.” Thinking just a bit longer about the prospect of moving, Sam fell asleep. He dreamed about a land where food was plentiful, and easy to obtain. He knew deep down, that such a world did not exist around the area, but it was nice to dream. “Hey look pa! There’s a gobbler in this hole!” A small boy had stumbled upon Sam’s home, and now his father was approaching with a grin on his face. “Great job son! Were having Turkey for thanksgiving!” They both smiled, and grabbed Sam just has he was waking up. “SQUARK! What’s happening!” He thrashed around and tried to escape the grasp of the man, but it was to no avail. He was knocked over the head, and remembered no more.

The darkness became a muted twilight, as Sam regained consciousness. “Ow, my head hurts. Where am I?” The twilight did not reveal much, and through the gray, Sam could only see that he was in a round building. The sound of approaching footsteps shocked him out of his thinking, and the bird tried to hide. There was little to cower behind in the building, and so he was spotted almost instantly when the man entered. “Heh, stupid bird. Think you can hide from me?” The man chuckled to himself, and threw a bag onto the ground. Thinking that Sam had nothing to say, he turned, and left. The scared bird slowly crept out of the corner, and cautiously approached the bag. It was fairly large, and listing to the side. Pecking at it, Sam eventually made a hole. Corn tumbled out, and began to make a small pile on the floor. “Food! That man must have brought me here to feed me!” This little tidbit of turkey logic in his brain, Sam began to feast on the corn. Hours past, and the bloated bird swallowed the last kernel. “BEEEEELCCCCH! Damn, that was good shit! I’ve never been this full in my life!” The ecstatic turkey settled down to sleep on the now empty bag, and rubbed his bloated stomach with pride. A few minuets past, and the stuffed bird fell asleep. While he was sleeping, the man returned to see how his captive guest was doing. He was mildly shocked to see the hugely stuffed bird sleeping on the now empty sack of corn, and the gears started to grind in his mind. “Wow, if that turkey ate all that corn so fast, we might just have a really big bird for thanksgiving dinner! I should see just how much this bird can take!” The man exited the area, and returned with many things. More corn, rice, bread, water, and anything else he thought the turkey would eat. “There, that ought to do it!” The man left with a grin on his face, and went to tell his family about his idea. Sam huffed on his makeshift nest. He was not sleeping when the farmer entered. “Humph, so they want to fatten me up, and eat me huh? Well, I’ll show them! I wonder if they can eat the big bird I’m gonna become!” Sam began to eat ravenously, tearing the bags to shreds, and forcing everything in the room, down his throat. His gut swelled out more and more, looking spherical. Sam had no idea how he was able to eat so much, but he did not care. Hundreds of pounds of grain went down the birds throat, and he was soon lifted off the ground by his girth. The bucket of water disappeared as if it was never there, and he looked around for anything else to stuff himself with. A hose was in the corner, and after a small fit of dragging his huge belly across the floor, he reached it. After figuring out how to open the thing, he began to fill himself up with water. Larger and larger he swelled, and he soon filled the whole place. As he was touching all sides of the circular room, be began to swell up, literally. The building he was in, was a grain elevator, so there was lots of space vertically. Finally, Sam spat out the hose, and groaned in contentment. If he had known that filling himself up felt so good, he would have drank down a river by now. He fell asleep stuck in the building, thinking of how much fun it would be to scare the bad man in the morning.

The next day, Sam woke up to find he had shrunk back down during the night. But not all the way. He was a 9ft tall turkey, and he was still very fat. He must have weighed a ton or more. His feathered gut was stretched out before him, and it swayed when he walked. “Boy, the man’s gonna catch hell when I see him next!” Sam sat down to plan his next move, and wait for the man to return. Moments later, the man did return to the building, and damn near shat his pants as he gazed up into the eyes of the stuffed turkey. He did shit himself though, when the bird spoke his peace. “Hello down there man! Think you were going to eat me huh? Well, I’ll show you! Eat this!” The bird began to play with itself, and soon brought his turkeyhood to full attention. Advancing on the stunned man, dick in hand, a gruesome scene played out for the viewers.

***I’m not about to drone on and on about what is currently happening, but lets just say it has something to do with the giant turkey slapping the man around a bit, then skull fucking his brains out without lubrication I might ad. Oh, and the liberal skull fucking has managed to snap the poor humans head off, and its still attacked to the turkey’s…. oh man that’s gross! Jeez! Don’t put that there! How are they ever going to Identify the body! Man, that’s once sick turkey…. ***

The sated turkey lumbered into the open, and proceeded to do bad awful things to the mans family, and the family pets. *** Sparky sez hi!*** The gruesome, and perverted scene finally finished, and a happy looking Sam trotted out into the forest. “That ought to teach them! Nobody’s gonna mess with this bird again! Or I’ll have to start to feed more!” Munching on parts of the farmers wife, the crazed turkey attempted to fit itself back into its now too small home. “Fuck! I can’t fit! Oh well, I guess I’ll have to move.” The dismayed Sam, lumbered off in a random direction, after several misadventures, he arrived at a sign post. “Hmm, what the hell is this?” It had strange markings on it. “D-E-T-R-O-I-T” was what it read. This made no sense to Sam, but he wandered off in that direction anyways. Rumors of a monster in the wild began to spread around Detroit, and soon the winter of Sam became a worldwide known tale.

*** That’s it, the end. No more from my claw here. If you want more about the winter of Sam, just dream up your own stuff, and or draw pictures of the happily bloated, skull fucking turkey. ***

I hope this suited your mood for thanksgiving stuff! Sure it was a bit short, and kinda vulgar… but what the hell. I don’t think anyone would really have a problem with it, but if they are having some kinda anti-everything party, just walk up and stick your dick in the mashed potato’s. That will shut them up.