State Vs T.Tiger 

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Partial transcript from the case of State v. T. Tiger, as recorded by the court stenographer.

Judge: I call this court back to order. Prosecution, do you wish to call a witness to the stand?

Prosecutor: I call T. Tiger to the stand, your honor.

(The tiger is sworn in.)

Prosecutor: Mr. Tiger, we hadn't gotten to the events of July 23rd when last I had you at the stand. Can you explain how Ms. Prentiss came to be at your apartment that evening?

T. Tiger: (Looks embarrassed) I may be a tiger, but I am a tiger man, if you know what I mean.

Prosecutor: Please go on.

T. Tiger: (Looks a bit annoyed now) She was on the production crew of the commercial I was shooting that day and we talked during a break. She was very…friendly…and I ended up asking her over for dinner.

Prosecutor: And then you ate her.

T. Tiger: It wasn't like that!

Prosecutor: So you had her over for some other reason than to swallow her whole?

Defense: Objection. Leading the witness.

Judge: Overruled.

T. Tiger: Yes, I had her over for another reason. She's not the first woman I'd had over, you know.

Prosecutor: Yes, we heard the previous testimony. Quite a swath you've cut, isn't it?

T. Tiger: But I didn't mean to eat her. I didn't eat any of the other ones, did I? You can ask --.

Prosecutor: No, as far as we know you didn't eat any of the other ones.

T. Tiger: Right. (Blinks) Wait a minute…

Defense: Objection!

Judge: Sustained. The prosecution and Mr. Tiger's last comments will be stricken from the record. Prosecution, continue.

Prosecutor: Why don't you tell us in your own words what happened, Mr. Tiger.

T. Tiger: All right. I had her over, and we had a glass of wine out on the balcony. I had dinner all ready except the steaks, but when we kissed we sort of forgot about cooking them.

(There's little surprise in the court. Various paparazzi had on occasion shadowed the tiger, and between their candid photos and after-the-fact interviews with his various conquests, there was little doubt that he favored human women.)

Prosecutor: Exactly how much 'kissing' did you do, Mr. Tiger? (He doesn't have to elaborate on the near-bestiality of such a kiss. Once more, paparazzi photos have revealed such kisses -- and more -- to the world at large.)

T. Tiger: Just one or two. After the first she was really interested in my mouth.

Prosecutor: Your mouth?

T. Tiger: Well, I have no teeth. I eat a lot of sugary breakfast cereal, and tiger teeth aren't meant for that sort of thing.

Prosecutor: No teeth at all?

(Mr. Tiger yawns. Indeed, while his mouth is healthy and pink, there are no teeth in his gums. His lips are thin and black, but this appears healthy also.)

Prosecutor: Am I to understand that you lost all of your teeth due to working for the Kellogg's corporation?

T. Tiger: I didn't have very many to start with. You know I was created in their lab to serve as a cereal spokesperson.

Prosecutor: Yes, along with Katy the Kangaroo, Elmo the Elephant and Newt the Gnu. You ate Katy, didn't you?

T. Tiger: I was cleared of all charges. We were all new from the lab and…

Prosecutor: No further questions.

Judge: Defense, do you with to cross-examine?

Defense: Yes, your honor.

Defense: Mr. Tiger, you ate Katy in a very Tigerish way, didn't you? There was a lot of blood, as I understand it.

T. Tiger: It was a long time ago and we were….

Defense: Please answer the question.

(The prosecutor looks a bit baffled. Why is the defense attorney attacking the tiger's character?)

T. Tiger: Yes, there was a lot of blood. I was less…humanoid back in the 50's. More like a wild tiger.

Defense: You gradually became more humanoid, though you're still obviously a tiger. Later, you married 'Mama' Tony, and had Tony Jr. And all the while you worked for Kellogg's, and had access to all those people, and three mouths to feed….

T. Tiger: What?

Defense: And you never ate anyone.

T. Tiger: Of course not!

Defense: Your witness, sir.

Prosecutor: You've been single since 1975, as I understand it. You're remarkably youthful for a 51-year old, and you were younger still back when you became single again. There are stories that you 'dated' many women, but the relationships never lasted.

T. Tiger: That's true enough. Women may like something different, but most of them want security and commitment, too, and we couldn't settle down and have children.

Prosecutor: But you tried.

T. Tiger: A man has needs.

Prosecutor: A tiger has needs.

T. Tiger: A tiger-man has needs.

Prosecutor: There were a few lawsuits brought against you through the years. Apparently you were a bit rough with some of your ladyfriends.

T. Tiger: That's because they wanted me to be rough. Not every woman I meet wants a soft, warm furry novelty. Some of them want to be with the lord of the jungle.

Prosecutor: Isn't the lion the lord of the jungle?

T. Tiger: Ask my girlfriends.

Prosecutor: Ahem. Back to July 23rd. You said Miss Prentiss was interested in your mouth.

T. Tiger: She played with my lips, and then she stuck her hand in my mouth.

Prosecutor: And you didn't object?

T. Tiger: (flushes a bit) It fit. And we were doing other things.

Prosecutor: Ah, so you had sex with her at that point.

T. Tiger: No no, but our hands were wandering, if you know what I mean.

Prosecutor: Except the hand she had in your mouth.

T. Tiger: Except that one. She felt around and then asked me to swallow it.

Prosecutor: Her hand?

T. Tiger: Yeah. I thought that was pretty odd, but I didn't think it could do any harm, and the idea seemed to turn her on.

Prosecutor: Which turned you on.

T. Tiger: What the hell business is it of yours what turns me on?

Prosecutor: Please answer the question.

T. Tiger: Her being turned on was a good thing, right? It looked pretty sure that I would…I mean, we were on the bear skin inside the balcony doors, and it sure looked like she'd be inviting me to do more than feel her up.

Prosecutor: So you swallowed her hand.

T. Tiger: You can see that my head is bigger than a human's, and I'm a tiger so I have a big mouth. It wasn't hard.

Prosecutor: What happened next?

T. Tiger: She shoved her wrist in, and then her forearm, and wanted me to swallow that too. Pretty soon she was in up to her armpit.

Prosecutor: Do you expect me to believe that Ms. Prentiss let you swallow her arm?

T. Tiger: (Looking progressively angrier) Look, it was her turn on, not mine, all right? The more of her arm I swallowed the more worked up she got, and her other hand was letting me know how excited she was, all right?

Prosecutor: Is this when you swallowed her whole?

T. Tiger: It was right after that. We were both pretty sweaty, well, I was panting and she was sweating, and we were both so excited we were about to go off. She did go off once when I rubbed her (looks at audience, then continues forcefully, as though trying to shock the attorney) rubbed her pussy.

Prosecutor: But you didn't. Did you come after you swallowed her, or during?

T. Tiger: It was after, but I wanted to say how it happened….

Prosecutor: All right Mr. Tiger, tell us how it happened.

T. Tiger: She was super excited and jumpy, and after she pulled her arm out she wanted me to swallow her head. I said 'You might smother' and she asked if I could swallow her whole.

Prosecutor: She asked you to swallow her?

T. Tiger: She started asking if I could, and if I did could I cough her back up alive. I said I could and….

Prosecutor: How on earth would you know that?

T. Tiger: It's from back when they first made me. They weren't sure a tiger could handle all the sugar and grains in the frosted flakes, so they made it so I could choose to not digest something I ate. I can turn off my stomach acids, and I can swallow air too. When I was young I used to swallow a big bellyful and belch the alphabet. I could do that if you….

Prosecutor: That won't be necessary. Swallowing a whole woman isn't the same as swallowing cereal, though. How did you know you could?

T. Tiger: You know I'm not really a tiger, any more than I am a man. I'm sort of a fantasy creature who looks like both. When the labs made me they made me really flexible and stretchy in case they wanted me to look different lately. Which they did. They could sort of put me on a rack and reshape parts of me.

Prosecutor: I didn't hear about that. Did it hurt?

T. Tiger: Not much, and I got a big bonus when they did it.

Prosecutor: Mm. Still, how did you know you could swallow a woman?

T. Tiger: It's a party trick. Sometimes at company parties they would bring in a whole cooked turkey -- a big one -- and instead of everyone getting a slice I would pounce on it and gulp it down whole. They had a huge ham once, too. When I looked at Betty I saw she was about as big across as the biggest turkey I ate.

Prosecutor: And you threw some of the turkeys back up.

T. Tiger: A couple. It's not like anyone would want to eat them covered with tiger spit, so mostly they stayed in. People liked to feel my stomach after I ate one. Some of them got real turned on, I could tell.

Prosecutor: Why do you think that is?

T. Tiger: Hey, not my kink.

Prosecutor: You just like to have sex with human women.

T. Tiger: In case you hadn't noticed, there aren't many tiger women around.

Prosecutor: Well, there's the zoo….

T. Tiger: (Bristles) Don't go there.

Judge: Is there a point to all this, Mr. Renfew?

Prosecutor: Yes your honor. Mr. Tiger, you looked at Betty Prentiss and saw that you could swallow her whole. And you proceeded to do so.

T. Tiger: That's right. She was eager. She stuck her hands down my throat, and pretty soon her head, and pushed off against the floor. Each time I swallowed she pushed in as hard as she could. I was able to lick her as she went in, and by the time I was licking her nipples she was going crazy.

Prosecutor: She found it sexually exciting.

T. Tiger: She sure did. It didn't do much for me, though. Going that slowly so not to hurt her, it was hard work, and her hand wasn't exactly doing me any favors any more.

Prosecutor: Going that slowly?

T. Tiger: The turkeys I would just stuff into my mouth and gulp down all at once. She wasn't shaped like that, and I wanted to make sure she had time to bend as she went into my stomach.

Prosecutor: Bend?

T. Tiger: If I had swallowed full force and her head had caught against the bottom of my stomach, I thought her neck might break or something. I have very strong swallowing muscles.

Prosecutor: From swallowing cereal?

T. Tiger: I'm a tiger. I don't just eat cereal. I eat a lot of meat, cooked yes, but I like it in pretty big chunks. And there'd been the turkeys. They weren't hard to swallow at all, and I could feel how fast they went down.

Prosecutor: How long did all this take?

T. Tiger: I don't know. It seemed like a long time, because it was hard work and it was really hard to breathe with her down my throat. I had swallowed a bunch of air first, which stretched out my stomach and helped make room for her, but it seemed like forever before her hips were in my mouth.

Prosecutor: Why was that part important?

T. Tiger: She'd been wiggling in as hard as she could and I could tell she wanted me to lick her pussy. When I could, I did, and in just a few seconds she went off all over my lower jaw. She was messy, and noisy too, but that was muffled. And she kicked like crazy.

Prosecutor: What happened then?

T. Tiger: Her head was already turned around in my stomach, so I knew I could swallow her without breaking her neck. And her butt was in my mouth, which was a nice, big thing to push down my throat. Sort of like the turkeys, that one big lump goes down easily. So I took one big gulp, and her legs started to slide in. All I had to do was relax, and her weight pulled her in.

Prosecutor: At which point you decided not to let her back out again. How long did it take to digest her?

T. Tiger: About 8 hours I guess, but that was an accident.

Prosecutor: How could you accidentally digest someone? You said you could keep the acids from being produced.

T. Tiger: I did. Her feet slid into my mouth, and I didn't have to swallow. They just went down after everything else like my throat was a conveyor belt. She went completely limp as she went in, but after she lay in my stomach for a minute she started wiggling around. Pretty soon she had her head back up against whatever that entrance is called. I could feel a sort of pressure, kind of like heartburn, but she didn't push and I kept swallowing air and keeping the acids turned off. I figured she'd get hot and let me know she wanted out.

Prosecutor: Hot sexually?

T. Tiger: Physically. My body temperature is what, 102 or so.

Prosecutor: But she didn't ask to come out.

T. Tiger: No, she started rubbing me.

Prosecutor: Can you be more specific?

T. Tiger: (Coughs) My belly was stretched tight and pretty thin. I could feel her shape, and I bet my hide wasn't more than an inch or so thick. She made such a big bulge and it hung down between my thighs where I was sitting on the floor, and I guess she could feel my sheath between the hide and the floor. She started rubbing me.

Prosecutor: Sheath…ah, I see. She was masturbating you.

T. Tiger: Well, yeah. I was tired from swallowing her, but I still had a hard on from when she was jacking me off earlier, and I leaned against the wall and let her rub. It felt like she was using both hands, and even through the hide it felt pretty good.

Prosecutor: For her to feel it from the inside, you must be a healthy tiger.

T. Tiger: I'm sure you've seen the pics the tabloids printed from when that asshole photographer caught me and that camerawomen by the hot tub.

Prosecutor: No.

T. Tiger: Anyway, I was still horny from earlier and it didn't take very long.

Prosecutor: You ejaculated.

T. Tiger: (Coughs again). Yeah. It felt, um….

Prosecutor: Grrrr-eat?

T. Tiger: It's 'Gr-r-reat.'

Prosecutor: What happened then?

T. Tiger: I figured she'd ask to come out soon, but I was relaxed and I just rubbed her through my pelt while I waited for her to let me know. She was still moving around. I decided she was maybe playing with herself, and if she stopped moving I was going to cough her up. Just in case the temperature got to her.

Prosecutor: And then?

T. Tiger: And then I woke up, and it was morning. I guess between being full and having sex, you know what they say about a man after he has sex.

Prosecutor: You woke up.

T. Tiger: I must have fallen asleep after I came.

Prosecutor: And?

T. Tiger: And the bulge in my belly was just about gone. When I fell asleep, well, turning off the acids is a conscious thing. I have to keep reminding my stomach not to digest anything. About every 20 minutes.

Prosecutor: But you were asleep, and so….

T. Tiger: (There's a look of anguish, but also of reconciliation on his face. He's plainly accepted what happened.) I fell asleep after I came, and a little while later, my stomach turned on. I don't know whether she was awake when that happened, or asleep, or whether the heat had got to her. The first couple of hours after I go to sleep, nothing wakes me up.

Prosecutor: And you digested her. What about her bones?

T. Tiger: When I ate the turkeys and the hams, the bones dissolved. When I woke up, there was still something in my stomach, but not very much, and by the time the cops got there that was pretty much gone too.

Prosecutor: There wasn't much evidence left. Just her shoes. You didn't even take her dress off.

T. Tiger: It was what she wanted.

Prosecutor: To be digested?

T. Tiger: To be swallowed! Hey, I didn't ask her to stick her head down my throat.

Prosecutor: Do you know what voraphilia is?

T. Tiger: Sounds like a disease. Or a vacuum cleaner.

Prosecutor: Voraphilia, Tony, is the urge to be swallowed whole, or to swallow someone whole. As it happens, police investigators checked your Internet activity after this unfortunate incident occurred. You seem to have been quite active on something called FurryMuck. So was Ms. Prentiss.

T. Tiger: I know, we talked about meeting there, but that first night we were there in person, but hadn't yet. I had just met her that day.

Prosecutor: The records show that you engaged in much conversation and a large amount of virtual sex while online. However, none of your logs had you eating anyone.

T. Tiger: Oh wait, I've heard of that thing now. That vore thing.

Prosecutor: Ms. Prentiss was indeed active on the 'Muck', and as it happens, she left many logs of herself being swallowed. Apparently it was her strongest sexual fetish, rather stronger than her urge to, say, have sex with a tiger-man.

T. Tiger: Shit.

Prosecutor: Yes Mr. Tiger, 'Shit'. Much like Ms. Prentiss, currently.

T. Tiger: I had no idea. I just wanted to fuck her.

Prosecutor: No further questions, your honor.

(The record shows that T. Tiger pleaded guilty to involuntarily manslaughter and was sentenced to 3 years in a minimum-security prison. Given his long-standing position in the community and the fact that he was, after all, mainly guilty of being horny, the sentence was reduced to community service. A civil suit by Betty Prentiss' parents resulted in a 1.2 million-dollar decision in their favor, which was paid for by an insurance policy Kellogg's Corp. established in 1951 and never de-established. T. Tiger has since resumed his position as cereal spokesman for the company, and, the tabloids maintain, been even more successful with women. Apparently the publicity of the trial did his sex life no harm whatsoever. As far as is known, he has not swallowed (or digested) any other female acquaintances.)