"Don't Tell Mom. The Babysitter Ate Everyone." by Race
Story idea by Nikolas K. Vulper
Race snickered as he finished up the ad to be placed in the newspaper
for that week. "Need a Babysitter?," it said, followed by
Race's full name (Race Coon - original eh?) and phone number. The giant
coon licked the envelope and took the letter out to the mailbox, before
coming back inside and loading up his backpack to go out for the night.
The next day, Race read the morning paper and was pleased to discover
that his advertisement was in its proper place on the classified pages,
right between an ad selling manure and one for a psychic friends hotline.
After reading the paper, Race sat down by his phone and waited enthusiastically
for it to ring.
Race snickered to himself as he stared longingly at the telephone. "Heh,
this was a great idea. Why go looking for food when you can get it to
come to you?" Suddenly, the phone gave out a high-pitched ring,
and Race's giant paw was upon the receiver in an instant, lifting it
so quickly to his ear that he almost yanked the phone up as well. "Hello,"
the giant raccoon said as calmly as possible.
"Yes, I'm replying about the advertisement in today's paper concerning
babysitting services," said the masculine voice on the other end.
Race had to try very hard to keep from snickering as he took down the
necessary information. "Okay, yes, thank you Mr. Buffett. Six o'clock
tonight, 500 Elm, five kids....got it. I'll be seeing you then."
As Race was about to set down the receiver, he remembered an important
part he neglected to mention and quickly said one more thing before
he hung up. "Oh yes, and there's no charge by the way."
"No charge?" The voice on the other end sounded rather confused,
but finally responded. "Wow, that's great. We'll see you at six
Race chuckled to himself as he grabbed his backpack and headed out the
door once the clock reached 5:30. He found the house rather easily,
a rather large house of what looked like a rather affluent family. Although
by normal standards it was large, Race still had to duck his head under
the threshold in order to push his way in. A snappy looking rabbit-morph
in a three-piece suit met Race at the door, smiling up to the giant
"Ah, you must be Mr. Coon. It is nice to see you. Kids! Come meet
your sitter," yelled the man in the direction of the staircase.
A slight rumbling went through the house, followed by a loud cacophony
of mixed voices and wails. The source of the noise was soon made clear
though, as five young rabbit-children came bounding down the stairs.
They all stopped suddenly about halfway down the flight and looked up
at their sitter in awe.
Their awe was well founded as they stared at Race. Although it was blatantly
obvious that he was a raccoon, the masked face and long striped tail
giving that away, he was unlike any raccoon the kids had ever seen.
He was incredibly tall, had to be at least fourteen feet in height if
not more, and was also incredibly fat. His belly looked like a marshmallow,
a giant paunch that pushed out Race's tee shirt and ran over his shorts.
His feet were uncovered, giant paws that looked like they could step
on any of them and turn a rabbit into a pancake.
Race smiled warmly at the kids, looking each one over as if he were
trying to guess their ages, but their father was quick enough to aid
"Jeremy's the oldest," he said, pointing to a chubby looking
boy wearing a baseball cap. "Jenny's the oldest girl, and that's
Jessica right next to her," he then pointed to two girls in matching
pink shirt, blue short combos, one taller than the other. "And
that's Justin and Jimmy, the twins," the father finished by pointing
to two smaller looking rabbits who were also wearing matching outfits,
red shirts and blue jeans. "And this is Mr. Coon," the father
said as he pointed to the raccoon, talking to his children now, "he's
volunteered to sit you while your mom and I go out for dinner."
The five kids nodded in response and took seats on the staircase as
their father turned to Race again. "Now Mr. Coon, we have dinner
right here, so you don't have to worry about anything. It's in the icebox
in a container; all you have to do is heat it up. The phone is over
there, and a list for emergencies, and they all need to be put to bed
by ten o'clock," the father rambled as he pointed to a telephone.
Immediately after that, another rabbit-morph came into the foyer. She
was wearing a nice formal dress and a little bit of makeup, and padded
over to the father taking his arm in her paw. "Oh, hi honey,"
the father said as she snuck up on him, turning around and pointing
to Race, "the sitter is here."
The kids' mother looked over at the raccoon warily, staring up at him
for a bit before turning to whisper in her husband's ear. "You
sure about him? He makes me feel uncomfortable..."
The father chuckled and whispered back to his wife, "Well he's
free. The other sitters wanted $10 an hour."
The wife nodded and pulled away from her husband, turning to smile to
her kids. "He looks like he'll be tons of fun," she snickered
as she pointed to Race. She turned back to her husband and motioned
to his watch, "It's time to go now, honey."
"Oh yes you're right dear. Be good kids," the father waved
to his children as his spouse dragged him out the front door. Race peeked
out the door and watched as the couple left before shutting the door
behind them. He snickered and turned back around to talk to the kids,
but they were gone. The coon blinked and looked around the foyer, but
couldn't see them anywhere. "Um...kids?"
All of a sudden Race heard a collection of giggles and bounding feet
to his right. He turned to the side and was pounced by five rabbit children
running at full speed, knocking their babysitter to the ground. "Erf."
All five chuckled and swamped over the giant coon, the twins yanking
on Race's tail, and the other three bouncing up and down on his belly
chanting "Sitter! Sitter! Sitter!" over and over again. Race
oofed and whined as they swarmed over him. One of the girls took out
her gum and stuck it to his fur, before painfully yanking it back with
a good collection of gray fur stuck to it. "Hey! I got a fur ball,"
she declared and tossed it back and forth between herself and the other
girl, snickering the whole time.
Meanwhile, Justin and Jimmy were busy having fun tormenting the coon
by yanking on his tail. "Hey, Mr. Race lets play tugowar!,"
they yelled as they grabbed his tail on the tip and pulled as hard as
they could, eliciting a loud whine from their babysitter. The other
boy, Jeremy, was having fun stepping on Race's face. He reached up on
the coon's head and started to yank on his ears.
"Hey look guys, his ears stretch! He's big as an elephant, so let's
make him one." Jeremy giggled as he pulled and strained at the
large raccoon's ears. His feet pressed down against Race's muzzle as
he crawled along his head in order to reach the ears.
Race was in considerable pain at this point, lying there on the ground
as five little hellions played with him like a giant toy, stretching
his ears and tail to their limit and grabbing out huge clumps of his
fur for no reason.
The raccoon grumbled and thought to himself that it wasn't supposed
to be this hard. Perhaps it served him right since he was trying to
take advantage of people's trust to get an easy meal. It wasn't all
his fault though, as the Buffetts showed obvious naïveté
by allowing a giant raccoon to sit their kids, and could have easily
refused him at the door.
"All right," said Jeremy, as he stood up tall on Race's muzzle
after finally letting go of his ears, "Someone go get the water
balloons." Race blinked at that, but only a few seconds later and
he found himself pelted all over by the water projectiles. Jeremy called
to his sister to give him one, and when he received it from her, the
oldest child lifted it above his head and threw it down full force into
the coon's face. Meanwhile, the other kids continued to pelt him from
all angles with other balloons, his fur getting wet rather quickly.
Race growled a little and stared up at Jeremy with his large black beady
eyes. The rabbit's feet were in a precarious spot, and all it took was
for the large raccoon to open his jaws and gravity pulled the little
kid's legs into his maw.
At that point, the leader of the gang of mischievous kids suddenly lost
his bravado. "Hey, what in the world?!," he yelled as he tried
to pull himself back out of Race's jaws, but they were closed over his
legs rather tightly. The other kids meeped and quickly pulled away from
Race's body, which freed up the coon's arms finally.
Race lifted his back a little from the floor and pushed against the
squirming rabbit with his great paws. The coon swallowed once and opened
his jaws again, pulling more of Jeremy's body into his maw. The rabbit
continued to thrash around, trying to nip at Race's paws with his long
front teeth, but Race was able to avoid the bites. The coon grumbled
again and swallowed once more, pulling Jeremy into his mouth almost
to the shoulders now. All the oldest rabbit child could do now was shake
his head and wail, but even that was soon finished, as Race swallowed
once more. A combination of the swallow and a rude push by Race's left
paw against the rabbit's head, and Jeremy disappeared with a slurp.
The coon closed his eyes deeply and swallowed a final time, pulling
the young boy into his throat, a small rabbit-shaped form pushing out
inside his neck fur, fighting the motions of Race's gullet to the last.
The other kids pulled back now from the sitter, staring at him in awe
as he ate their brother before their very eyes. Instead of running away
and hiding however, they leapt back onto the giant reclining raccoon.
"Give us back our brother!" They all yelled in unison, as
they punched and pulled at the large raccoon, Jimmy even going so far
as to bring a bat in from outside to beat at Race's body. The coon growled
a little and reached out for the little boy, a paw grappling around
his weapon. Jimmy wasn't going to give up without a fight though, and
quickly bit at Race's paw hard, puncturing the sitter's skin. Race decided
at that point that enough was enough, and brought his other paw around
to grab at the little boy and lift him up into the air.
Jimmy squealed loudly and tried to pull away as well, but the coon was
easily stronger than he, and soon found his head pushed roughly into
a smelly raccoon maw as well. Race maneuvered his paws to grab at Jacob's
tiny arms and hold them against his body, although the rabbit was still
able to kick at the coon's face and neck. His struggles were rather
weak though, and Race had no problem taking in the smaller child. A
few quick swallows, in combination with Race's paws pushing in against
the tiny body, and soon it was two rabbit children inside the giant
raccoon, Jimmy's footpads the last part of him visible before he too
was forced to wear a giant raccoon-coat.
Jenny and Jessica started to cry out, pulling at Race's fur coat and
pushing against his belly as they felt their brothers fill the giant
mammal's stomach. "You ate our brothers, you monster. We'll tell
our parents!" Race snickered and sat up completely now, picking
both girls up in his paws.
Although Race originally had apprehensions over this whole thing, the
pain and attitudes of this family was quickly changing his mind. "Oh,
I can't let you do that. I might have to stop my scam. And don't worry,
you'll see them again soon." The raccoon licked over his lips and
stuffed Jenny and Jessica's tiny bodies into his wide maw. The two girls
screamed and pushed as their brothers did, only their struggles even
weaker. The coon leaned his head down a little and worked his jaws slowly
over their hugging bodies. The girls whined and held each other close
as they were engulfed together by the raccoon's maw.
Race lifted up on their tiny bodies, swallowing once to pull their heads
back into his throat, and allowing gravity to aid in their swallowing.
He opened his jaws as wide as he could, and slowly pushed the two into
his maw as if they were one. In only a few minutes, he had engulfed
the two to their waists, four kicking struggling legs sticking out from
his open maw. And then, with a swallow and push of his paw, they disappeared
into the greedy predator. Race leaned his head back and swallowed once
again, a sizeable lump appearing in his gray neck fur, slowly disappearing
after a few minutes as the girls were forced into Race's stomach to
join their brothers.
Race snickered and licked over his lips, sitting up and turning to the
last of the children, who was just sitting on the staircase the whole
time, his mouth agape at what his sitter just did. To Race's surprise
though, the last boy didn't run or fight or even scream. Justin padded
slowly over to Race's side, and climbed onto his belly, leaning down
with a floppy ear to listen for his siblings. Justin smiled and hugged
at Race's belly, before staring up at his sitter again. "You ate
dem all, didn't you?"
Race blinked and chuckled to himself as he answered. "Yes, I did."
Justin chuckled and clambered up to Race's muzzle, lifting the coon's
jaws open rather easily and jumping into his maw willingly. The smallest
of the rabbit children closed Race's jaws shut behind him, his entire
small body filling the coon's maw.
Race was rather confused, a quizzical look appearing on his face, but
shrugged it off and swallowed down Justin as well. The coon licked over
his lips and paws as he sat up and leaned against a wall. The tiny bulge
that was Justin eventually worked its way down the coon's throat as
well, the fifth of Race's tiny meals for that night joining the other
four. Race smiled and rubbed over his belly, leaning back against the
wall lazily and snickering to himself as the five children continued
to wiggle around inside him, their voices and struggles still audible
to the coon.
About four hours later, the couple returned and opened up the door,
smiling to Race as they entered. "Oh hello," said the father
as he hung up his jacket, "I trust you put the kids to sleep already?"
Race snickered and nodded, "Yes sir." All of a sudden, the
giant coon let loose a loud belch, drawing the attention of the wife
and husband to Race's gut. The mother was the first to realize, covering
her mouth with a paw as she ran quickly up the stairs.
The father was more naïve, smiling at the raccoon and shaking his
head at his strange wife. "So they were no trouble at all. That's
good, I guess Julie just wanted to see them again," he said as
he pointed up the stairs.
Race chuckled and reached out to pick up the kids' father. "Oh,
well she went the wrong way then. They're right here." He patted
over his belly, but before the father had a chance to react, Race stuffed
the older rabbit into his maw as well. Since Race had already had quite
a bit of practice, he had no trouble at all taking in the rabbit-morph
before his wife returned. Swallow, push, swallow, push, that was the
way of it until Mr. Buffett was nothing more than a bulge in the ravenous
As Race finished gulping down the father, a scream rang out from upstairs.
Mrs. Rabbit came bounding back down, yelling out to her husband. "Joe!
They're gone! The kids are gone! Joe?..." She slowly turned to
Race again, her mouth going agape as she noticed the bulge in his neck,
and even more the size of his gut. She slowly backed away, but in only
a second, the giant coon paw was upon her as well...
Race smiled and hummed to himself as he closed the locked door to the
great house behind him, walking away from the Elm Street residence and
returning to his home. It had been a good night for him, seven rabbits
already digesting in his gut, more than enough food to sustain his large
body for that night. As for what would happen when the family's disappearance
was discovered, who would ever find out? He chuckled to himself, feeling
quite proud of his deed and anxious to get home to sleep off his meal.
Two weeks later, after it was discovered that not only had the five
Buffett kids missed school ten consecutive days, but that Mr. Buffett
had also missed work for the same amount of time, a police force was
sent to investigate. As the uniformed wolves knocked down the locked
door to 500 Elm Street and searched the place, no real evidence was
found, and the case was closed as a "mysterious disappearance."
The only thing the police did find was a small ball of gray fur, which
was immediately thrown into the wastebasket and assumed to be a cat's
Story copyright Justin M. Schuver/Race 2001
Please do not copy or repost without author's permission. Pretty please
with sugar on top.