An Invitation to the Table 

By Greywolfe 
Story Copyright (C) By: Greywolfe
 1998 - All rights reserved.

Story not to be reprinted, or redistributed, 
without author's Permission.

If you wish to use the stories, or 
anything copyright by me, please e-mail me.
I'll also forward any mail to the author.

 
 
  [title;an invitation to the table [version 1.01/bastardized]]
[author:greywolfe]
[email:9424407@bistud.ctech.ac.za]
[date:6 jannuary-27 February 1998]
[bastardized:17 April 1998]
[editor:sagebear]
------------------------------------------------------------------
6 January 1997

the room is large, comfortable.  the great bear circles it a few
times, trying to concentrate, though he knows that the reason he
is here is sitting in the corner.
very gently, he inhales, then exhales, his two amber eyes darting
this way, then that.
'are you ready yet?'  an even larger bear asks from his corner of
the room. the first bear, silver streaks running through his hair,
looks up, watching the other in the corner and replies in a deep
bass voice, 'Iím not sure.'
'Iíll wait...' said the larger bear in the corner.  fascinated,
the amber eyes dart over the seated bear, who seems not so much
seated, as comfortably sprawled on the floor.  one of the large
paws is absentmindedly stroking a rather round gut, and he rakes
his claws through the bear-fur as he smiles.  now the bear in the
corner belches, loudly, trying to release the gasses from earlier
this evening...earlier this evening the seated bear [had] been
instrumental in devouring a rather obese dragon, and now it is the
turn of the large bear pacing to and fro.  while the huge bear in
the corner is busy, absentmindedly stroking his full stomach, he
watches the other bear, whom he knows only as greywolfe, though
he's heard rumors that greywolfe has more than one form. 
greywolfe is large, but not large in a firm, muscular sense, large
in a fat, round sense.
he has two intense amber eyes, through which you can almost but
not quite see his soul.  his fur is almost alien in the bear
kingdom, as it contains shades of both dark brown and silver,
while the rest of him is pretty standard issue...well...apart from
the gut.  the seated bear doesn't want to do computations, but he
figures that there's something close on 1500 pounds of fat bear in
front of him.  he remembers the obese dragon, smiles and burps. 
time, time, time.  he certainly has enough of it, at least, until
his gut speaks up again....greywolfe pads over to him and kneels,
'am I...' he begins softly, 'well...am I fat enough?' the last
comes out in a burst, as if he's ashamed of who he is.  the seated
bear smiles, cocks his head to one side and says, very softly,
'come here...let me find out for you'.  so, encouraged, the amber
eyes make their way through the near darkness to where he is
sitting.

[28 January 1998]

greywolfe drops to his knees and looks down, challengingly.  he
knows what's going to happen.  he's been thinking about it for the
past month now,  has been giving the question of being dinner for
this impressive bear much thought.  he hadn't thought about the
whole concept often, at least not until the larger bear in front of
him had mentioned the possibility, had explained that it was his
intention to make his impressive gut even bigger.  he'd mentioned
that he could either eat lots of food, [which he wasn't averse to]
or take the shorter route, which was to eat other willing animals.
greywolfe is one such willing animal, one of a line of many.  for
a little while, as he's kneeling, his head spins, the onset of a
migraine.
there are lots of things he wants to get away from, and this might
be the way out...a way to die legally.  it's not quite suicide,
though in a way it is, because he volunteered.  maybe it's
euthanasia.
he casts the thoughts aside.  they're not what he wants to think
right now.  right now his main objective is to be an offering: a
meal.
there will be time for contemplation later, probably in the dark
hours between ingestion and digestion.
as he is busy thinking two *large* paws encircle his belly,
stroking it softly, almost reverently.

[29 January 1998]

then the nose of the huge bear is in the air, sniffing.  the paws
withdraw.
'you want death, don't you?'
greywolfe lowers his eyes, doesn't want to see the curiosity
etched on the other bear's face.
'I...want...' now that he has to say the words they won't come.
'slow down,' the huge bear says, patting a space in front of his
lap.
greywolfe sits down there and two big arms encircle him, make him
feel safe, protected.  behind him the huge bear's tongue begins to
lick at his head-fur, gently grooming him, licking the fear out of
him.
'there's lots of things...things I want to get away from,' he
begins.
'the things Iíve done...the people Iíve killed with my own two
hands.'
saying those words greywolfe changes...shifts to a male human
form.  he can't be twenty years old.  'this is who I am,' he says,
standing up.
the amber eyes fix those of the huge bear, no longer afraid.
'my name is nicodemus caine...sometimes I think I should be daemon
caine.'
there's blood on his hands.  'I was an assassin.'
blood-tears well up in the eyes of the boy.  that's all he is; a
boy.
now the huge bear can see the cross on his forehead.  it's a
brand...this 'boy' has been branded like a beast.
now the words fall from Mr. caine's lips in a rush, as if he's not
sure of what he's saying.  'eight years old, living in an
orphanage.  there's a swimming bath and Iím...swimming in it. 
then he's there, the priest.  he's behind me, tall, slender,
beardless, gray hair...and he rapes me, rapes me over and over
again.  until I can't feel a thing.  thirteen now, running away,
living in a college town, forged documents, forged everything. 
then the government catches up, offers me the job, repatriation
they call it.  I work for them, do what they say and they'll
forget the forgeries...the world I come from is twisted metal,
nothing makes sense.  sixteen - university and the missions -
crusades.  orders to kill...' the voice drops to a sibilant
whisper.  'and then the law, the /real/ law finds me.  they pass
their sentence and now I am part-human-part-bear-part-wolf. 
atonement.  they call it atonement...'
the voice drops away.  the wolf resumes the tale, in it's own
characteristic, raspy voice, 'I told him to come here, because
he'd be safe, but now he wants to die.  there's nothing left for
him to care for, nothing...'
the wolf pads up to where the huge bear is sitting, 'he says he
wants to set us free.'
'how old is he?  he looked like he must only be twenty.'
'he is...only twenty.'
'and the people that controlled him made him kill for them?' the
wolf nods.
'it is not for me to judge the boy.  he has made a decision and
clearly he is sticking to it.  are the two of you...the bear and
yourself...are you all right with what is to take place here?'
the wolf utters a simple 'yes,' and the transaction is complete. 
the boy re-appears.

'you will get your wish, nicodemus.' a little hand reaches out to
clasp the huge paw.  'thank you,' he whispers and for the first
time the amber is clear and the huge bear can see peace...
the huge bear reaches out and holds the boy to him, gently. 
'you're not a daemon.  you were abused repeatedly, but you're not
ugly...and though I don't like your reasoning, your need to die, I
will not dissuade you from it...if this is how you come to terms
with yourself...if you find peace, then so be it.'
the boy nods.
for a while the huge bear just rocks him back and forth, soothing
him, hoping, in a way, that these last moments will change his
mind, but knowing that this is one of the headstrong ones, that
this was his decision over a period of time, and that he isn't
going to back away from the consequences.
there is a shift and greywolfe in boy shape is replaced by fifteen
hundred pounds of large bear.  very gently the huge bear begins to
stroke greywolfe, running enormous paws up and down his back,
running those same paws on the underside of the large belly...upon
feeling that fullness the huge bear's member begins to go erect.
he pulls greywolfe on top of him...buries his erection in the soft
flesh of the large bear's underbelly, caresses his sides.  from
somewhere deep within himself, greywolfe manages some sort of
muted passion, pressing himself down into the folds of gut.  the
huge bear's paws are gentle, tracing the topside of his back and
then the roundness of his behind...
greywolfe is surprised to find that even in the act of being
devoured, there is sensuality...a kind of grace, though he knows
that the act itself has not yet begun.  very gently the huge bear
bids him to stand up, so he does...
he's quite unprepared for the handpaws that stroke his belly...and
then the tongue that flicks it's way around his soft gut...he
closes his eyes and bathes in the ministrations, feeling the paws
tremble all over him, feeling himself harden.
the huge bear avoids his stiffness and instead concentrates on
stimulating greywolfe even further, by lying him on his back and
then stroking his rather large belly...impossibly the huge bear
moves over him, on top of him and he is buried beneath more pounds
of bear flesh than he cares to think about.  when his breaths
begin to come in ragged bursts, the huge bear rolls off him,
caresses him softly, stroking his belly and sides, softly.
grinning, very gently, the huge bear holds greywolfe's paw and
says, softly, 'yes...I think you are fat enough....'
in the semi-darkness greywolfe blinks and smiles, glad to have
found favor where he so desperately sought it.
he and the huge bear just lie together like that for a very long
while, neither speaking, then, very gently, as if in a dream, the
huge bear stands up and pulls greywolfe up to him.  there is a
gentle silence as the huge bear begins to massage the amber-eyed
bear, kneading his soft contours so that he's relaxed...when the
huge bear is satisfied he puts both arms around greywolfe's waist
and tugs him closer...
for a few seconds greywolfe can feel the huge bear's breath on his
face.  it's warm and smells of something alien, something that he
doesn't readily recognize, but which he knows about, 'dragon?' he
asks, stupidly.
the huge bear grins and pats his belly...'in here,' he says. 

[30 January 1998]

and then, unexpectedly, he belches.
greywolfe nods and says 'oh,' he feels a bit silly for having
asked the question, but it's done now...the huge bear doesn't look
down at him with scorn.

with the lightest of touches two large paws reach out for his
face, touch it, stroke it tenderly.  then a large tongue is
licking him all over...it starts with his lips and then works it's
way to his eyes and then down, all over his body, pausing for a
long, pleasant while at his gut...effortlessly, but slowly he is
dragged down to the floor, while the large tongue and paws
continue their ministrations. 
now the paws are playing with his belly...making patterns, shapes,
releasing the butterflies, but at the same time causing his member
to stiffen again.
'you taste sweet...' the huge bear rumbles, pleasantly.
then, quite without warning, the large mouth opens and its tongue
begins to lick at greywolfe's hardness.  it's strange for the
amber-eyed bear...his member isn't so much caressed by that hungry
mouth, but by the large tongue, which encircles his sheath and
begins to induce rise after further rise...

[31 January 1998]

his amber eyes close and he pushes himself toward the raspy
tongue, wanting to release himself to the huge bear, but then the
moist warmth disappears.
'not quite yet,' the bass voice rumbles, 'you'll know when...'
and greywolfe smiles, because he has an idea of what the huge bear
is after.
gently, the caresses continue along with the warm deep voice of
the other bear, talking to greywolfe, getting his trembling to
subside, getting him to be still and relax.

[8 February 1998]

and slowly, very slowly, greywolfe's heartbeat slows down to a
slow, patient  beat and his quivering dies down.  it's at this
point that the huge bear kisses him, lightly, tongue forging
forwards into his mouth, paws stroking his sides.  the huge bear
releases him for a moment and asks, very gently, 'are you ready?'
greywolfe doesn't open his mouth to speak, his eyes speak volumes
for him.
he's as ready as he's ever going to be.  so, slowly, the huge bear
lifts him up, wraps his paws around greywolfe and begins to finish
the kiss he started.  the tongue reaches inside of him, caresses
his own tongue, while the paws stroke him softly.  the large mouth
opens up even more and now greywolfe can feel the pull, reaching
up to reel him in.  it's a very gentle tug now, but he can imagine
that it will be irresistible soon, like trying to swim against the
flow of some of the rapids that he's bathed in, only there will be
no rocks to bump against this time around.
he returns the kiss as best he can, feeling, even in
reciprocating, that the huge bear's mouth is no longer locked
around his own, but has extended up and is now tracing his cheeks. 
afraid, he puts his paws into the paws of the other bear, who
holds them tightly and squeezes...'do not be afraid,' the squeezes
say, 'do not be afraid...'
he holds onto those words, knowing that to show fear is to back
away and he has come here precisely because he is sick of backing
away.  the mouth opens wider still and begins to tug at his nose
and the undersides of his eyes.  not hesitating now, he offers
them up, going so far as to slip himself further into the waiting
jaws.  the paws squeeze, as if the bear wants to smile, but can't,
since his mouth is full.
greywolfe closes his eyes when they are engulfed...there's
darkness here, nothing he needs to see...his ears are tickled
briefly and then the warmth of the large mouth is surrounding them
too...he wonders if the huge bear will choke on his fur, but gives
it no further thought as the top of his head slides in after his
ears.

he'd probably be lying on the floor now, in warm bear-spittle if
that was the case.  something that he doesn't understand is at
work here, but he isn't sure he wants to question it too far.
the pull gets stronger, more insistent, the further he sinks down
into the other bear's maw...pretty soon he can feel his neck being
stroked by warm lips...and still those paws hold his own
tightly...'don't be afraid.'
his eyes are closed, but he feels his head slipping down into the
other bear's throat...very briefly the paws leave his own as he
feels them caress the throat, relaxing it so that it'll open
wider.  afraid, his own paws flail for some sort of security,
until he finds the other bear's chest, which is solid, comforting. 
as soon as the huge bear has his throat relaxed, the pull becomes
insistent again, but at least there are comforting paws to hold
his own.  as if his devourer is apologizing, the paws stroke his
own gently, 'Iím sorry...I should have warned you first...'
he fails to hear the strokes as actual words...words inside his
head until the huge bear repeats them, softly and adds, 'you can
hear me, can't you?'
shocked, greywolfe opens his mouth to speak, but is thwarted by
many streams of saliva running down the huge bear's throat.
'don't try to talk normally, it doesn't work...for either of us. 
use your thoughts, your mind.  we're linked now in
a...well...predator/prey relationship, I suppose.'
greywolfe squeezes once.  he understands.
'OK...' he thinks...then, inadvertently, 'why...don't you choke on
my fur? all of that going down should just about kill you...?
there's a soft rumbling, almost a laughing noise.  'the
predator/prey relationship extends to that too.  you could do no
more to harm me, than I could do to harm you, Iím not entirely
sure of *how* the bond works, but I have to be careful with you,
or you...well...prey law...advocates that you take revenge...drop
little bits of fur, or big, gaping balls of it, as the case may
be, to either trip me up, or kill me.  I have to respect you, as
you do me.'
'oh,' is all greywolfe can think to reply.  he knows it's a stupid
reply, but can't come up with anything more deep and meaningful.
very gently, his shoulders are caressed as the huge bear's mouth
opens up wide, again.  he feels his paws lifted upward as his
position alters slightly, now his shoulders are almost, but not
quite surrounded by the warmth of the other bear's mouth.  there's
a sort of ripple effect as his whole body inches forward, further
down into the waiting belly.  the pull is so strong now that he
knows he shouldn't even bother to fight it, so he just surrenders.
'This next part,' the thought begins, 'which involves your
shoulders, chest and belly, is by far the most difficult bit, but
once that is over it's merely more swallowing and you will have
got what you wanted...'
the paws surrounding greywolfe's press tightly.  'do not be
afraid...'
the huge bear's mouth opens wider than greywolfe could possibly
consider normal, as his shoulders are enveloped in warmth and then
*pulled*.
the pull travels right through, to where greywolfe's muzzle is
sinking down, beyond the huge bear's chest.  eyes closed, head
tilted to the side, greywolfe hears the huge bear's thoughts as he
hums a gentle tune, and squeezes both of his paws.
now he can feel his arms and the top half of his chest being
coated with the warmth of the huge bear's mouth.  as if his body
has been taken over by something he cannot see, his nipples go
erect as he goes down, which triggers reactions all the way down
his body.
powerful arms lift him into the air and very suddenly greywolfe is
totally disoriented.  the only way he can keep track of direction
is because he knows he is going into the gut of the other bear
head-down, but the tug is strong and the paws that were holding
him, comfortingly, have now released him...impossibly the huge
bear-mouth just gets bigger as it starts to swallow down his own
sizable belly.  it is here that the pull stops, while the huge
bear rakes his paws through the gutfur of his meal's belly,
stroking it softly, exploring it.
there's a rasping sensation as the bear's tongue roughly makes
it's way into greywolfe's belly-button, licking and then sucking. 
after what seems like hours, the pull resumes and the mouth
engulfs his large stomach,

[25 February 1998]

pulling it down into the waiting maw...all the while greywolfe's
tension mounts as his nether regions respond to the softness
coating his body.  embarrassed, but knowing there's nothing he can
do about it, he senses his erection graze against the huge bear's
mouth... 'sorry,' he thinks, 'god, sorry...'
'what are you sorry for?' the thought comes back, almost
instantly.
'my...erection...'
the paws stroke his own softly, intimating amusement, 'you find
the idea of being swallowed...well...an erotic one?'
'surprisingly, yes...I came to die and found life, fertility...'
the huge bear swallows and thinks back, 'even in death there is
something...an essence maybe, of life.'
there are images in the huge bear's head, images of blood, of
people dying...
'I don't call that life,' the little voice replies, ashamed.

eighteen.  a boy not much younger than you were when the priest
came is running through the flames, clutching a teddybear and
screaming.  he launches himself through the front door.  oh god,
they've messed this one up more than you want to think about.  the
father comes out, fat, bearded, burning.
'now, now, now,' without thinking you raise your hand and squeeze.
your eyes close in concentration.  you can feel his heart beating
in your hand, you can feel his heart beating in your head.
'Jesus, Jesus, Jesus...' you push.
'which hell do you belong to?' you think.
then his blood is on your hands.  down near the burning house the
big man sinks to his knees, the terror on his face mixed with
surprise, he's survived a burning house only to be cut down by a
heart-attack...that's how they'll record it...a heart attack, and
I killed him.  and I fucking killed him.
you look down and feel the boy's eyes burn into you.  murderer.

eighteen.  poolside.
you're up not four houses away looking down at the man who is
meant to die.
yes, he probably has a family too, but he's causing the world
grief.  that's why he has to die.  that's why they all die,
ultimately.
maybe you could screw this one up, but no...your superiors would
know and this...this menace would still be free.  so, as much as
you want to let him go, have a family, have a life, you know you
can't and you won't.  you've never balked at orders before.  you
won't now.  you close your eyes and believe.
left hand goes up into the air like a dance step.  push to the
right and air is displaced.  the man below falls into the pool. 
poolside now splashed with cold water, cold water against warm
stone.  if I keep thinking of the minutiae, if I keep thinking of
the amoebae, I don't need to be concerned about what's happening in
the bigger picture.  push.
the amoebae can't come out of the goo it's trapped in.  you impose
a physical barrier between it and the real world.  not too harsh
now.  he has to look like he's drowned...the official report. 
accidental drowning.
you wait until you can't hear his screams in your head.
murderer, fucking killer...wife comes to the window, looks down,
looks across.  for an instant your eyes meet and you want to bury
your face in your hands and cry.
but god and the government and the /law/ [whispered in hushed
tones] don't listen.  you want to give up and die.

[26 February 1998]
twenty.  the world is falling apart.
for the first time you've felt something terrifying, something
huge reach out and grab your mind.  you're like a rat in a cage,
want to get out, want to get out, throw yourself against the bars
and scream.  the man you've been sent to assassinate is something
you don't recognize.
the /law/ has found you.  they've sent you to die.  you're too
much of a threat to the people you work for.  today is the day you
work for your freedom...or die.
his mind reaches out and touches yours and ohgod the world is
spinning, turning, reeling out of truth and mind and space and
time and god doesn't
listendon'tknowwherei'mgoinggoddamn....
you pant like a wounded animal running down a maze, neon lights
flashing past you as the man with the head of a jackal and the
body of a human runs after you.  you can't see his dark muzzle
against the stark light, but you can see his amber eyes and the
white robe he wears.  he seems to sail in the robe.  no tripping,
no falling.
his mind bores into yours and suddenly you're not running, you're
sprawling on the ground.  inches away his muzzle is looking for
your neck, looking for...you claw at him, but it does no good, the
/law/ has found you and now they are going to pass sentence.  and
pass sentence they do.
two fangs bite into your neck.
and Iím not the killer for once.  god, Iím not the killer for
once.
as the blood leaves your neck something drips into you and
replaces the spilt grains of life...you scream, no squeal, as your
body shrinks, changes, and you're a wolf.
you're a shapeshifter now and will live out your course obeying
the /law/, only killing what you're called to kill by nature, not
by design.

the instants pass.  the huge bear sits down, heavily.
'I understand,' he thinks, the words floating into greywolfe's
head, 'you don't want to be the killer anymore...you don't want to
bring this kind of pain to people anymore?'
'yes,' greywolfe whispers, forgetting where he is, 'yes...I need
you to help me forget.'
the huge bear hesitates, 'maybe forgetting is a bad idea.'
'a bad idea?  no...I killed those people...that's not something I
can live with any longer.'
'it was who you were.  you shouldn't forget who you were...you're
different now.  you've grown out of that...what you did was a
vocation; you didn't get called so much as chosen...maybe the
government were wrong for not finding out if you *could* deal with
the pressure/responsibility.  but it was your line of work...'
greywolfe nods, the huge bear is right, even if it was work with
the sword of Damocles hanging over his head it was...what he'd
done.  he didn't have a choice and, if he'd had one, he would have
chosen something different, but the option wasn't there.

[27 February 1998]

'it doesn't make it any better...the killing, I mean...'
'no...I know that,' the huge bear whispers in his mind, 'but at
least you can possibly forgive yourself for what you did...have
you ever done that?'
'Forgiven myself, you mean?'
'yes.'
'Iíve...' and then the tears come, coating the huge bear's throat
with their warmth.  greywolfe continues, even though his thoughts
echo his trembling, 'never...forgiven...Iíve...always,
al-al-always felt...responsible, li-like I was paying the
priest...back.'
'you can't...he's gone now.  he always was.'
greywolfe goes silent, but the huge bear can feel his tears, so he
reaches out with his mind to caress the boy, in the shape of
greywolfe, to soothe his pain...if he'd known all of this
before...but he didn't, and he gave his word.
he knows he has to give this little one the thing that he's never
found.  he has to give him peace and he understands that peace
equates to death for this particular boy, nicodemus caine, who
is also greywolfe.
shouldn't confuse the two.
when greywolfe has finished shedding his tears he gives him time
to relax, to slow back down.  then, gently, he asks, 'do you want
to continue, or do you want to stop?'
greywolfe pauses, but the huge bear can feel the resolve flowing
through his body.  'I came this far, Iím not backing down now.'
the huge bear nods.  he'd expected this.  the little cub might be
broken, but he was also tough...strange how he'd gone from
thinking of him as a large bear and instead now envisioned him as
something smaller.
'no more shame.'
with those thoughts he begins to caress the large bear's penis
with his mouth, causing it to stir and then become erect...'no
more shame.'
sensuously, greywolfe tightens the muscles of his behind so that
he can thrust upwards, to where the mouth can reach him better,
take him in.  miraculously the huge bear's tongue manages to work
it's way around his gut and down his side, behind his arms and
down his back until it's reaching in between the twin cheeks of
his hindquarters.  that tongue causes greywolfe to inch forward,
drawing him further into the open mouth.  now his penis is covered
in warmth and saliva which coats his member and sometimes drips
down into his foreskin.
the saliva itself hurts him, but the pain is something like an
electric shock.
before he'd been content to slip down the bear's throat, but now
he has the use of his paws back and he's ready to use them to drag
himself down into the large gut of the huge bear if necessary.
beginning to take a more active part in his own devouring,
greywolfe begins to thrust his hips and midsection into the maw of
the huge bear, arousing his penis even more than it is
already...in the confined space between greywolfe's belly and the
huge bear's mouth his sheath begins to expose it's red tip,
swollen as well as dripping with pre-ejaculation.
swallowing hard, the huge bear works the top half of greywolfe's
chest into his throat...the huge bear knows only too well that
that large penis will snag on something and, as sensitive as it
is, it'll twitch for release.  that release will speed up the
process of swallowing considerably, since it'll act as lubricant,
allowing the vast bulk of his meal to slide down effortlessly,
instead of slowly, painfully, so he plays with the member of the
other bear constantly.
greywolfe responds by stroking the inside of the throat he is in,
pushing it wider, coaxing it to get ready for his rounded belly,
since he knows that's going to be the most difficult part of this
journey.
the huge bear's paws leave his to stroke his waiting gut...it's
always been big before, but after this meal...absentmindedly one
large paw drifts down to his own member as he imagines how soft
he'll feel when this is done.  this image in turn feeds greywolfe
and his thrusting member begins to drip a constant but small
stream of pre-ejaculation.
trusting to instinct, greywolfe invites the large paw to stroke
his own member, so the huge bear complies, opening his mouth and
gently touching the tip of the erection he can't see...then he
begins to stroke as the large bear bucks in his mouth...
'now...'
and with that a river of ejaculation runs down the belly of the
large bear and drips past that and on, down, into his belly...he
feels it land with a soft thud, but oh lord, how satisfying that
thud is.
'spread the ejaculate into my throat, press your gut into my
throat...make sure that you can come down easily...this is where
things literally get slippery.'
greywolfe doesn't reply.  he merely does as he is bid and that
feeling of the soft bear-belly rubbing against the back of his
throat causes the huge bear to begin dripping his own copious
stream of pre-ejaculate, but he won't release his seed now...maybe
when the satisfying weight of the large bear is dragging him down,
causing him to sit...or maybe lie...maybe then.
the huge bear drags his tongue back to the top half of greywolfe,
tasting the semen on his belly and occasionally licking his penis
clean...right now the whole back surface of his throat is slippery
and as he caresses the bear in his mouth, the whole large mound
begins to inch downwards until the top half of its legs are nearly
sticking out straight ahead, in front of him...he runs his paws
all over them...they're big, but not strong...the way he likes his
meals.
greywolfe's midriff has reached the insides of his throat and he
can feel the bear's head nearly at the pit of his
stomach...'nearly there,' he whispers, then, 'what's it like?'
'warm...mostly...like being in a womb,' greywolfe responds,
as he reaches out and paws at his gut from the inside...this
tickles a little but is not, by and large, an unpleasant
situation.
the huge bear stretches his throat muscles, waiting for the belly
to come down, and then, like an amusement park ride the back half
of the large bear is tearing down his throat, using both the
velocity and the lubrication from the ejaculate to slide down...
now the large bear's legs are halfway down.
now his hind legs are sticking out of the maw.
now his hind legs disappear, but with those shifts come the large
gut, which he struggles to breathe past...so he massages his
throat, coaxing it wider still.  when his throat muscles relax, he
can feel the bulk of the large bear drop down and hit his waiting
belly.
greywolfe begins to re-orient himself, placing his feet below him
and his paws at the front of the stomach he is in...very slowly he
places his muzzle and paws against the warm inner-lining and
presses forward...the huge bear smiles, rubbing the roundness.
at about the same time as his large paw is caressing his fullness,
his paw inches downward...he knows what ejaculating is like with a
full belly and now he wants to do just that.

in the darkness greywolfe feels activity as his position is
shifted.  now he is lying down, because he assumes the body he is
in has done just that too.
nuzzling against the soft belly he feels the paw outside of it and
licks...
forgetting for the moment where he is, just knowing that it is
warm and very safe.
haven.

as the outside begins to rock around him with thrusts he
recognizes and grunts that boom inside his head, he begins to feel
something soft working at his flesh...a gentle sort of embrace
begins all around him, taking his particles and making them part
of the huge bear.
with the tingling he feels something inside of him go...he can't
explain it.
it's just something that leaves his body and for a little while he
feels empty and small, but not terrified.

the huge bear strokes himself first into hardness then into
action, bucking in the place where he's lying and watching the
white stream ooze from his other orifice.  he could almost think
of it as saliva...and indeed, he has engulfed other penises with
his own before, but this is not the same.
the full feeling in his belly engenders a kind of quiet frenzy in
him, as if this might be the last time he feeds...and feeding for
him is a life-in-death cycle.  for him, spurting his seed onto his
belly is part of the life, but knowing that he is absorbing the
other creature goes hand in hand with that.  it strengthens *his*
life-cycle.  it is in the process of losing his semen that the
emptiness assails him...that two *spirits* seem to leave his
body...it is then that he feels what he thought he might, the
little bundle in his stomach is smaller now, man-shaped.  he puts
his paws to his ejaculate-coated body and strokes it, gently,
reassuringly.  as he is trying to calm the boy within him, the two
spirits walk through the door and kneel at his feet.  two pairs of
amber eyes look up at him and smile a thank you.
he has done what he was asked and, as a favor in return, two
pictures come from the mental library of the boy inside of him.

six.  Christmas.
father clementine is wrapping presents, when, all of a sudden he
doubles up in pain.  god is taking him away.  god is being unfair.
you won't let god take a good man away from you.  he's the only
one you know you can trust...
concentrate.  concentrate.
you push.
suddenly he's awake again.  alive again.
I am not the killer.
you look over at his silver hair, lying matted on the carpet and
his wide brown eyes and smile...not knowing what will come later.

twenty.  forest.
near sunset.  you're in the center of a grove of trees, the light
shining down on you in patches...you're curled up in front of the
tree with the tear-shaped abrasion...it's the first and only time
you've known peace.  until today.